For your daily devotions, complete with Bible verse and plenty of C.S. Lewis references. Enjoy.
1 Corinthians 13:11-12
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
C.S. Lewis talks a lot about this idea of seeing dimly as in a mirror. The idea is that heaven is more real than the world we know now: the world we live in is only a reflection of the true reality, which is found in Heaven. All the goodness and beauty on Earth are only a reflection of the real goodness and beauty of God. In other words, Heaven contains the Platonic Forms for everything good on Earth. God is the Form.
At the very end of The Chronicles of Narnia, the world is ended and the characters enter the heavenly Narnia, to find that the old Narnia they knew in this life was “only a shadow or copy of the real Narnia which has always been here”. They spend their time going “further up and further in,” discovering more and more of the “true” Narnia. The heavenly Narnia is also described as being “like an onion: except that as you go in and in, each circle is larger than the last.”
When I became an atheist, I discovered that the universe was that onion. I became a man and put childish ways behind me. I saw the universe face to face, with no intermediary. It was as if previously there had been a thin, fuzzy film over everything I saw or sensed or felt– not the result of sin or distance from God, but the result of painting a veneer of God on the surface of everything. All that was stripped away when I began to see the world as the thing itself and not a reflection or footprint. Every sound, every sensation and feeling and morsel of knowledge, was magnified.
In The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis illustrates the ‘realness’ of heaven this way: when the people from Hell/Purgatory visit Heaven, even the blades of grass are so real and hard and solid that they cut into the feet of the visitors, who were not accustomed to the realness of heaven.
When I became an atheist, every pain and joy and sorrow was magnified as well, and I felt the breadth of what it meant to be alive in the universe, unshielded and unbuffered.
Adam and Eve must have had a similar experience when they left Eden. The world outside the garden was a more accurate depiction of reality than they had known, yet because it cut their feet, they pined for the place they had left, like the visitors to Heaven who just wanted to get back on the bus to Hell.
I, too, wanted to get back on the bus at first: to be back in a place of comfort and familiarity, where I could pray and put my trust in God and look to him for everything. But I recognized the pain for what it was: reality. Realness is not in the future, or in some eternal heavenly Form. Reality is now, and if you’re looking for it elsewhere, you’re missing it. There is no limit to the wonder and breathtaking detail of this world, unless you decide that there is. If you put all your hope in a future world and cover up the wonder before your eyes with a film, a filter, then it will be limited, and you will never see the full extent of it.
How many people really drink up the full extent of reality? It is more than we can imbibe, yet some look at the filmy breadth before them and say, “everything is meaningless”. Let us put childish ways behind us, peel away the narrow filter, and go further up and further in.
Great post. If you are in hell you can visit heaven? You can go away on holiday and see how the other half die? C.S. Lewis is a looney.
That verse used to mean so much to me. I suppose in a way it still does, but the meaning has changed, just as you describe it. Great work!
Reality is where it’s happening. Besides, there are squirrels here. The bible don’t say nothing about squirrels in heaven. Who would want to go there?
I used to hold C.S. Lewis in such high esteem. After the bible, his works were the best to read. But I’ve come to realize that a better title for ‘Mere Christianity’ would be ‘Mere Assertions.’
Really enjoyed your post today. I’ve been following your blog since you started and while I’m sure it must be tough to be in your situation at school I do enjoy hearing your take and your perspective. I was raised Catholic and was never what I would call fundamentalist or evangelical but I did carry an heir of superiority over others as though I had somehow been given some knowledge they couldn’t grasp. Finally I awoke from that ridiculous dream.
When I did a friend gave “Mere Christianity” to me as a gift. Probably thought it would turn me back to the right path. I was still very early in my de-conversion process so I’m actually glad I didn’t read it right away. I’m not sure if it would have affected me or changed my mind but I’m glad I didn’t risk it just then. That book is now sitting in the bottom of a box somewhere in my basement.
I’ve reflected on that verse and how succinctly it encapsulates the deconversion experience many times. Great post!
I would never go back to delusion, I love reality. It’s far more interesting than the visions of mad prophets. It drives me crazy when my mother tells me sci-fi is stupid because it’s “not real”, but then goes on and on about Heaven and the coming “rapture.” *massive eyeroll* At least I recognize fiction when I see it. (btw - I don’t live at home, this is only when my wife and I visit)
@Jason,
“Mere Xianity”, if I had to bet, would not have affected you one bit. @Josh Charles sums it up perfectly with his proposed alternate title.
Beautifully written! You do a great job of turning the supposition of 1 Corinthians on its head - I too have often thought how apt a description of deconversion that passage is.
This is where Pascal’s Wager has it all wrong: There is a heavy negative cost associated with painting that “veneer of god” on the universe and going through the motions in this life, as if it were nothing but a dress rehearsal for eternity.
How that attitude robs people of really living each moment and cherishing this life as the one reality we have! Once honesty becomes a priority I don’t know how anyone could go back to deluding themselves again. Thanks for the excellent devotion.
I really love your blog. You are so intelligent, articulate, and wise! I found your blog through “The Friendly Atheist,” and I will be visiting often.
I became an atheist fairly recently, although I had questions and doubts for a long time before then.
For many years, I had a one-way conversation going with God. I would request help with a problem, ask that a missing child be found, pray for a safe trip, or thank God for some perceived blessing. When I finally came to accept that there is no god, this conversation stopped, and I grieved as though I’d lost a cherished friend.
One statement that has helped me is the “Pale Blue Dot” quote from Carl Sagan. If you are unfamiliar with it, you can read it here: http://www.planetary.org/explore/topics/space_missions/voyager/pale_blue_dot.html
I have the quote and “Pale Blue Dot” photo on a poster in my cube at work. When I read these words, or when I get far enough away from the city to see the night sky in all its starry magnificence, I feel connected to the universe and a part of something so much greater than myself. After I am gone, whatever remains of me will continue to be a part of it. It doesn’t exactly replace my lost “friend” or my previous belief in “heaven,” but it’s very comforting.