I had a normal conversation yesterday.
This is a big deal. I can say with 95% certainty that I have never before had a normal conversation at Wheaton. Normal is something I usually only experience when I leave Wheaton during breaks or visit friends who don’t go to Wheaton. I can’t really define it, and most of the time it’s not until I experience something normal that I notice how much abnormality I’ve been marinating in.
It’s not that atheists are normal and Christians are not, but it makes sense for conversations at a Christian college to not be normal. There is so much pressure for everyone to be a certain way, and to talk in a certain way. I could practically have a Wheaton conversation in my sleep, it’s so formulated. Still, most of the time I don’t feel like people are trying to be someone they’re not.
Un-normal conversations are more than just formulaic. They somehow feel like they’re going against human instinct. It’s not just about being yourself; there are plenty of people who don’t act like themselves and but still act normal. Conversations here just doesn’t flow in a natural way for me, though it may be natural for the other person. It seems like they are somehow trying not to be human, or maybe we are human in not quite the same way. I really don’t know how to describe it.
I had a normal conversation. There was nothing spectacular about it. It was just so… normal.
I get what you’re saying. Nicely said.
I feel like I need to give the A.A. greeting: “My name is Scott, and I’m a Christian and a Wheaton grad.”
So… I also “get what you’re saying.” I completely understand and even empathize with your experience of abnormal conversation that happens in evangelical subcultures. Been there. Done that. BUT… my initial thoughts are:
(a) All subcultures (atheists, sports freaks, day traders, etc.) do this, with the requisite expectations, formulaic communication, etc. That’s why we call them subcultures. They produce something. Often it’s stupid and frivolous. It’s what happens when (I think) faulty/sinful people get together. We produce… a lot of trash/crap/junk.
(b) All these same subcultures have immature and unsophisticated (meaning not developed or thoroughgoing) people who talk out of their rear ends. Many of these would have almost nothing but negative backlash for you.
(c) All these same subcultures have mature, developed, and experience people who are the real deal, EVEN if they use language particular to those groups. Many of these would have almost nothing but grace and understanding for you.
This issue, interestingly, gets at why it’s important that one’s choices in life in the realm of religious, philosophical, and moral belief and behavior, despite the multifarious assumptions and postures we pretend to make and take, should come down to making REAL arguments for things, not just emotional sentimentality, or the responses of faulty people.
Also, BTW, I know lots of Christians who are normal people, have normal discussions, occasionally cuss, and are sold out believers who would die for their faith. I, like you, would much rather carry on a conversation with these Christians who “get it.”
AND, I would also say it’s probably a vast overstatement to say with “95% certainty” that you’ve “never had a normal conversation at Wheaton.”
But, yes, it gets sickening at times (the subcultural crap.)
Good blog. Thanks.
Thanks, Scott. Speaking of subcultures, I have sociological objections to the idea in general. I’m not really comfortable about any particular subculture, including the atheist one. And I do know some “normal” Christians– I wouldn’t say a lot, but a fair few. Including the one with whom I had the conversation that this post is about.
Great article. I am a senior myself at Wheaton and can relate to this. I absolutely cannot stand the “Christian Talk.” Fortunately most of my close friends at Wheaton do not speak in Christian formulas or end every sentence with “if its God’s will” I hope you find more people to have “normal” conversations with. I think that can be the bigges turn off for non-believers is the Christian lingo that sounds like jibberish.