Autumn

Although I’m an atheist, my upbringing was such that the center of all family and community experiences I’ve ever had was Christian. So I feel entitled even as an atheist to cook from the church cookbook and I plan on humming “How Great Thou Art” to my children to lull them asleep.

[Side note: How freaky is it taking communion after you denounce God? I grew up in a transubstantiation church, and they'd somehow managed to convince me (maybe based on 1 Corinthians 11:27?) that non-believers would spontaneously combust if they ingested Our Lord. It was a very atheism-confirming game of Russian Roulette.]

My favorite aunt has just been hit with multiple bouts of cancer and MRSA viruses, etc. at a very young age. They’re Wheaties (the whole damn family) and so I get bi-weekly prayer requests and praises that God has delivered yet another blow, but it must be somehow in the name of glory, etc.

I have not yet found a way to respond to these, or talk to my aunt, without acquiescing that I’m praying for them. Especially after a direct request for prayer, responding by saying “I’m thinking of you” would be a blow… not only because I’m an in-the-closet atheist, but because I know they view it as both an effortless gesture on my part AND vital to my aunt’s recovery.

That said, to everyone else, I say something like “scrunching up my face and sending good vibes to you…”. To most others, I think it’s important not just that you’re thinking about them (30 seconds of pity, for instance, is not what they want) but that you’re doing so with the intention of helping them out.

When I went in for a routine re-fill a few months later, he told me he wasn’t going to give me a refill, he’d decided I should just trust in God more instead. (I did not know this man personally at all.) Even at 16, I knew it was appalling behavior. I was an in-the-closet atheist at the time (still am), but I went totally ape-shit on him and to my mother in the car afterwards. I am very glad I did.

but I think that you would find it interesting to live around some committed atheists for a while and see where their belief system has lead them

*raises hand* I’m one of those deconverted, “commited atheists” who attended a technical school and lived an “enlightened” attitude towards life. In other words, Laurence would probably call me a “hell-raiser”.

My belief system, I feel, has lead me towards a deep and abiding compassion for the people around me; people of all ethnicities, all faiths, and all walks of life. For everybody, Catholic or Protestant, Atheist or evangelical, life is one long, slow grind towards death. We can live that grind joyfully and full of love for each other and for this great planet, or we can live it regretfully and judgementally. One thing that I’ve learned since my deconversion is that Christians haven’t cornered the market on Joy!

Excellent point. It is often wrongly assumed by Christians who proselytize to me that non-Christians, like myself, have never experienced Christianity in a meaningful, deeply spiritual way.

This barely scratches the surface of it. Most religions, it’s true, are constructed to actively hide from the reality of death, akin to a child plugging her ears with her fingers and shouting “LALALALALA! I can’t hear you!” in order to avoid an unpleasant truth.

I would argue, though, that death is not the only unpleasant truth being his in this manner. Others include:

– Avoiding the need to actively help your fellow man in times of distress; if you pray for the injured or those in peril, you feel you have done something to help them (when you have not) and can look away from the problem with little remorse.

– Avoiding the truth that sometimes, things don’t have a purpose. Sometimes, someone dies tragicly for the stupidest of reasons or your house burns down or a tree falls on your car. Religion affords the believer the luxury of saying “Oh, it must be part of God’s plan” and move on, rather than having to accept that, well…..”shit happens”.

– Sparing people the need to think about matters of morality and ethics, therefore allowing them to avoid uncomfortable moral ambiguity. When is it moral to kill another human being? The believer is apt to answer “Never! The Good Book says ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’!”…until faced with “Even if that person is going to rape your daughter?” While not sparing them from moral ambiguity in practice, it certainly makes it easier to judge other’s behavior from an absolutist standpoint (for many, anyway).

The list goes on and on, each reason underscoring why religion is so hard for most to let go of, each adding another fluffy blanket to hide one’s head under and pretend life is easier than it is.

Take care!